How I Spent My (Real) Summer Vacation

Considering that I have spent the past 2 months perfecting the ass groove in my bed and having one-sided conversations with the TV, a trip back to Champaign was just what I needed to get me out of my post-surgical rut. Since so much happened on the trip, I cannot be bothered to put it into paragraph form. Here, then, are some lists of how I spent my only summer vacation

Things I Did

• Ate delicious pork schnitzel under the watchful (yet creepy) gaze of a taxidermied white swan.
• Lived predominately on beer, pizza, polish sausages, chai lattes and Starbucks oatmeal.
• Got my "Farmer's Market and sunshine" fix.
• Lost A.'s keys within five minutes of him giving them to me, then got my arm caught under the seat of his Dodge Aries while looking for them, since I didn't have the hip flexion to free myself. Amused several passing cyclists in the process.
• Took a writing-aptitude test that involved me writing a thousand-word article on something that interests me in the NFL (a.k.a. the place where Tom Brady got all those fine, fine muscles), which resulted in two tense hours at the Urbana Free Library surrounded by people who insisted on playing their soul music without headphones on and discussing their desires to move to Hollywood to become entertainment reporters "like Mario Lopez."
• Brought my usual "Hurricane Arley" routine into the lives of those I care about. Actually, it was mostly my car's fault, since it got so comfy napping over the past two months when I was away recovering that it didn't feel like waking up.
  

Things I Did Not Do

• My physio exercises: because, honestly, the number one rule of being a good house guests is not to do any pelvis thrusts on someone else's couch. Also, when I was doing some knee exercises, my cat was judging me mercilessly.
• Eat delicious Coco Mero frozen yogurt. Damn. And since there's calcium in frozen yogurt, I could have had a medically sanctioned treat.
• Do the whole "budgeting" thing. Though, it was A's birthday. And chai lattes are good for my hip. And I needed that $4 chocolate-covered marshmallow.