Why Can't All Medicine Be Covered in Brownies?

In the interest of improving my hip, I have had electrified needles jabbed in my ass, swung my legs around in bizarre physio swings as 85-year-old men tried to look up my shorts, had ass massages and chilled out in MRI machines. Today, however, I finally had a treatment that didn't cause me post traumatic stress disorder. I've been talking about it for ages, and today it finally happened: I got to eat some delicious Coco Mero frozen yogurt: the yogurt of my dreams, the yogurt that I have been pining for in the fro-yo-free wilds of Vancouver. (Is it a bad sign that I can count "getting to eat good frozen yogurt" as one of the best things that's happened to me in months?) Today, however, E.C. and I has a frozen yogurt dance party (okay, maybe not dancing, but we did bob our heads to the blaring pop music) and I suspect that my hip will thank me for it.

In the frozen yogurt place, there's a big sign that lists all of the many health benefits of this particular frozen yogurt: improved digestion! Improved immune system! May possibly be tolerable for people with lactose intolerance! Good source of calcium! Low fat! (Source: the Yogurt Association of America, which makes me wonder if this association sends powerful yogurt lobbiest to Congress). If this sign is to be believed, then yogurt will straighten out my immune system, which will fix my rashes, then help my hip stay in place with its calcium, and improve my digestion to boot. Better still, I get to cover this immune-system-boosting, calcification-speeding-up, low-fat deliciousness with caramel syrup, white chocolate chips, sprinkles, cheesecake bites and brownie pieces, then draw a little happy face with chocolate syrup on top. (I wonder if my T3's would go down easier if they were covered in caramel syrup and white chocolate chips? I might have to experiment).

So here, for your viewing pleasure, is a picture of my fro-yo sundae. If you look closely, you can see the little chocolate-syrup face watching you, which looks more than a little evil in photo form. (In real life, it was less evil and more delicious). Try not to be too jealous.